17 Mar Calming Down: A Jiu Jitsu Story

Calming Down: A Jiu-Jitsu Story

 

In times of stress, my natural instinct has always been to fight. When I’m pressed for a deadline, in an interpersonal dispute, or driving down the freeway, I direct my aggression outwards. Naturally, in jiu-jitsu, this became a habit.

 

With something to prove and a fear of letting go, I end up trapping myself instead of my opponent. As an external model of our internal worlds, Jiu-jitsu has made how I treat myself unmistakably. It has reflected back to me the attitudes that I thought were so secret and put them directly in front of my face.

 

Perhaps you’re feeling especially disconnected from yourself and you have no idea where to look. Maybe you’re making the same mistakes over and over, and you just can’t figure out why. You might be suffering from the consequences of untamed aggression, and you’re looking for a leash for your beast. In any case and every case, I implore you to join jiu jitsu.

 

If you’re out-of-control, desperate for stability in your life – join jiu-jitsu. If you’re as calm as can be, and looking for some fire – join jiu-jitsu. If you want to learn teamwork – join jiu-jitsu. If you want to learn how to lead yourself better – join jiu-jitsu. If you want actually change your life – jiu-jitsu is yours for the taking.

 

My most transformative experience came around four months in while we were sparring. After an especially hectic round, Ray pulled me aside. He asked me to watch one of the more senior men, which I did intently. His movement was art – slow, controlled, and it looked easy. Not what I was used to.

 

Ray told me that the best jiu-jitsu isn’t about beating the other person, it’s about meeting in the middle. This flipped my view on jiu-jitsu – and life – on its head. With the new goal of meeting in the middle, my success became entirely in my control. No longer was I a failure if I didn’t tap the other person out – earning a draw became the new winning.

 

I proceeded to have the three most difficult rolls of my life. Instead of being on the attack, followed by scrambled defence, I aimed for the middle. I waited to be advanced upon, and I would respond by neutralizing. And in the moments I scrambled, I was tapped.

 

Jiu-jitsu has brought me advancement in overcoming my greatest challenge in life: calming down. It’s teaching me to slow down my body and mind, and it’s punishing me when I speed up. Jiu-jitsu has taught me clear thinking in a time in my life when I needed it most. It brought me nothing I was looking for and everything that was missing. Thank you, Jiu-jitsu.

 

By: Sam Gray

Teachers: Marc, Ray, Bobby. Special thanks to Art.